How to recognise anger before it takes over

Whether it be a family member, customer or work mate that pushes your buttons to the point of feeling anger, it is a feeling that none of us like having to experience.

Anger is just a reaction to a thought, idea or concept. It is a reaction that opposes a belief you hold to so very tightly, that it creates a negative feeling inside yourself. When you are experiencing anger, it’s very difficult to regain control and think rationally in that moment, which is why it’s good to practice noticing when you are feeling anger, and often just walk away if you can. Sometimes this isn’t possible and taking a moment to breathe and detach mentally may help to calm the mind a little in order for you to regain some control and think about your next actions.

Actions coming from a place of anger can be destructive and the negative consequences simply are not worth it. Saying the wrong thing in a state of anger can hurt and damage relationships. Sometimes this can be forgiven, and sometimes it can’t.

Essentially, it’s up to you to learn ways of understanding and controlling your own anger. Learn what triggers you. Understand why you react to things the way you do, but also understand, that others may see things differently.

A husband may get angry when he has come home to a messy, unorganised house after an incredibly busy day at work, assuming that his wife has been lazing around all day. If he could breathe at this point of assumption, calm down and communicate with his wife and ask “how was your day?” He may discover that she also has had an incredibly busy day where nothing has gone her way either. Together they may come to some deeper understanding of what’s truly going underneath the mess and stress of day to day living and start working on solutions.

It does take time, but learning to understand your own triggers to anger and working on ways of diffusing the immediate reaction to triggers, can truly help you to live a happier life. Anger can be then dealt with quickly, and not left to fester for days, weeks, months or years, eventually causing illness.
Things will always anger us, but when you can notice the anger, and not react to it, that’s when you know that you can face just about anything!
Meditation, breathing, staying present, communication and patience are the tools for overcoming anger. If you are truly ready to change, here are a few more helpful resources-

Anger- Taming a powerful emotion by Gary Chapman
Anger-Buddhist Wisdom for cooling the flames by Thich Nhat Hanh
Anger releasing by Louise Hay


2 Comments on “How to recognise anger before it takes over

  1. Great article Janine. I’ve also found that when I get angry about something, it’s not necessarily what’s happened in that moment, but an accumulation of unexpressed emotions and non-resolved issues. So the saying, “It was the straw that broke the camel’s back” fits here.

    Love and Angel Blessings


    Liked by 1 person

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