Controlling the Control Freak Within
I’ll admit it! I am a control freak. If I’m not in control of something, I get anxious, start looking for food or coffee or some other distraction to stop feeling that horrible sense of not being in control.
The irony of this state of being is that when you let go of control and allow things to be as they are, life sort of works out better for you, then if things had of been done in the controlled way!
Our rational minds know that we are never truly in control. The economy could crash. Your favourite coffee shop might be closed when you are dying for a coffee. It could rain on your wedding day. We could die at any moment. No matter how small or how big or how real your problem is, YOU are never in control of these things. What you are in control of, is how you react or respond to these changes that come into your life.
Some psychologists suggest that controlling personality types are generally very successful people in business and their careers, but often their personal relationships may be volatile. As children, nurturing and care may have been inconsistent, and therefore they learnt only to trust themselves rather than others to take care of their needs. This lack of trust in other people and the world around them, does make life difficult in times of stress and change. It’s during these times, that controlling people experience that anxiousness, and this may be more about asking for help and having to trust other people than accually about the issue itself!
Just this morning, our plumbing business that I work with, was bombarded with phone calls for jobs that needed to be done urgently. We already had enough work booked in for a month in advance and my inner control freak was not liking that all this work was disrupting my carefully organised schedule. I was feeling stressed and annoyed and I do not like letting people down so changing jobs around is a painful task for me! Once I calmed down, and accepted things as they were, I could start to work with what I had. I made a few phone calls, changed a few jobs around and things just came together! People were happy to push jobs back, we were able to offer work to other guys who were quiet so that helped them out too. So, it all kind of worked out better for everyone.
The way I have been dealing with my controlling nature is through deep breathing and just focusing on letting go and trusting that everything is working out for the best for everyone involved. This little mantra does calm me down and get me out of my head and into a space of remembering that in the grander scheme of things, this little hiccup is not that big of a deal and will sort itself out anyway. Gratitude is also another good tool that gets me out of my ego!
Feel free to share any more tips on controlling your inner control freak!